I’m a serial killer and I live right next door to you. I’m your neighbor and best friend. Oh also, I figure you should know…you’re my next victim.
Oh don’t worry, you won’t know, in fact you won’t feel a thing. I pride myself on being stealthy; I slip in where you’ll never notice me.
Fun fact: I can use almost ANYTHING to kill ANYONE I want. I’ve always gotten away with it and I always will. Why? Because most people underestimate me and I love that!
My friends call me the “dream snatcher”, has a nice ring to it right??? But my government name is Perfectionism.
I think I would make a GREAT companion! If you do too, hit me up and lemme slide in yo’ DMs.
What the WHAT?!? I would run…
What would you do if you came across a profile like this? Most sane people would either run screaming or report this person…they cray!
But when it comes to perfectionism most people take the offer and run with it, clinging to their perfectionism like its LIFE giving. Smh.
Let’s play a quick game of “have you ever”! (do kids still play this?)
Have you ever:
- Quit a diet because your cheat day turned into a cheat week…month…year?
- Stopped tracking your expenses or balancing your checkbook because you missed a couple days?
- Felt like you couldn’t take on a new project because you had to do another million years of research?
- Missed a night of going out because you “couldn’t find anything to wear”?
- Said no to an intimate moment with the hubs because the conditions weren’t ideal? (guests in town, its raining, the baby might wake up, I didn’t shave my legs, my best lingerie has a tiny hole in it, I need to change the sheets, we argued 3 days ago, etc.)
What do all of these things have in common??? Correct…perfectionism!
Look how it kills your joy, your dreams, your hopes, your relationships, and your security…I could literally go on all day.
Right now, you’re letting it kill your future! How? By gettin’ cozy with your debt. Even if you’re not necessarily drowning YET, it’s a full scale emergency. Don’t believe me? Go here to learn the truth and what you can do about it!
There are so many lies that we tell ourselves, like these outrageous ones, about our debt that keep us in bondage. So why stack the cards against ourselves even further by allowing perfectionism to kill our dreams before we even start.
What is perfectionism???
I think it’s absolutely necessary to understand exactly what perfectionism is so you can see how it’s affecting you.
Imagine if you went to the heart doctor and you tried to explain your ovary problems.
The doctor would probably look at you like you’re crazy, because one, they haven’t gotta clue as to what you’re talking about, and two they haven’t gotta a clue as to what you’re talking about.
They wouldn’t be able to diagnose you, or explain what is happening in your body, or tell you what will happen next, let alone how to fix any of it.
Trying to get rid of your perfectionism without understanding exactly what it is presents the same problem.
The dictionary defines perfectionism as “the refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.”
Well that sounds good right? Something to be praised?
NO…there’s a whoooole lot missing from that definition!
Psychology Today weighs in with a much more accurate description IMHO:
“Perfectionism is a trait that makes life an endless report card on accomplishments or looks. A fast and enduring track to unhappiness…Perfection, of course, is an abstraction, an impossibility in reality, and often it leads to procrastination.There is a difference between striving for excellence and demanding perfection.”
But what does this have to do with your debt??? Oooo girl…
Perfectionism and Yo’ Money…
Ok, so now you know what you’re up against, but how does that play out with yo’ chips and dip???
Perfectionism is like that no good boyfriend you had back in college, constantly whispering sweet nothings in your ear. But believe me, its poison and I promise you, it’s keeping you in debt: (kept me in debt, IJS)
Here are the top 3 ways that perfectionism is keeping you in debt:
1. Now’s NOT The Right Time
What the what?!? Since when is there a “right time” to stop a serial killer?!?
Uhuh, I know what you’re thinking, “that’s dramatic *eye roll*”. But believe me it’s not, I’m telling you, your money is on the chopping block!
There’s never a perfect time to tackle your debt!
Wanna hear how bat crap crazy I am??? No…seriously.
When I was in grade school, I would sit down to do my homework…back then homework was done with good old fashioned pencil and paper.
My little 10 year old self would sit down with pencil and paper and start to write, but I wouldn’t like how the first word I wrote looked…sooooooo…I would ball the paper up and start with a whole entire fresh new sheet.
Oh no no no, I hear you, YEA it was pencil…and NO I couldn’t just erase it. Then the paper would be all smudgy, cause you can’t TRUUULY get all the pencil marks off.
I would literally go through a small stack of paper before finishing my homework! And don’t even get me started on how long it would take me to actually get an assignment done.
You guys, this is INSANE, like perfectionist OCD…is that a thing? Well, I’m making it a thing.
As I got into highschool, it got even worse. My anxiety around it would be so bad, that I would procrastinate on doing any assignment…and a lot of times I wouldn’t do them at all.
I became the master at avoiding homework until the veeeeerrrry last minute. In my mind, I was tired, I had to rehearse for my dance performance, it was my turn to clean the kitchen, I had to feed my Tamagatchi (remember those?), laundry…work…on and on.
Does this sound like you and your debt? No??? Mmmhmmmm…*side eye*
How many times have you said:
I’ll start paying debt off when I get a raise. Or, OH WAIT, after we buy a new car, THEN I’ll get to it. Or, I have extra expenses this month, maybe next month.
Or told yourself:
Well, I tried it and messed up, so it’s just not for me. Or, it’s too overwhelming, I don’t know where to start. Or, everyone has debt, it’s normal. Someday, but not today.
OMG!!! This is ALL perfectionism at it’s finest…THIS.IS.CRAZYTOWN.
You could keep believing it, or you could just start. I vote for START!
Life is always going to keep tossin’ up those wicked curve balls. Accept this and decide today that you will get moving, even if you need to baby step the baby steps! (totally me)
If that means simply paying an extra $5 towards your debt, that’s aight, slay that $5…progress not perfection Sis.
Make SOMEday, TODAY.
2. All of Your Copout Excuses Are Ok!
Not so fast turbo, I don’t think so! Stop throwing the baby out with the bathwater. (no clue exactly what that means, but Grandma said it all the time, so it must be wise)
I remember when I was preggers with my first bambino, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I knew that I needed to be eating right in order to give him the best chance at a safe delivery.
But do you know how HARD it is to ignore ALL.THE.TASTY.THINGS. when you’re a million years pregnant?!? Gaaaahhhh!!! SO HARD.
Only my baby boy’s life being on the line kept me on the straight and narrow…most of the time.
We’ve already established that I’m a bit cray, so when I would give in and have a cookie or whatever sweet, it would turn into the whole pack, and then a carton of icecream, and let’s just add whipped cream on top of it all! (hey don’t judge me, cause #SOHARD) I know I’m not alone. 😉
Anywho, you see what happened there? My perfectionism said, “YO, you’ve already fallen off the bandwagon, might as well make a pitstop at pleasuretown!” It was a total copout so I could quit.
Are you catching what I’m puttin’ down???
There is no such thing as a perfect month, or a perfect budget, heck or a perfect person (well except me…JK JK). When you have a slip up, don’t be a quitting lil’ whiner! That’s for perfectionist! #Warrioroverwhiner allday, errryday!
When you blow your budget on day three, DON’T quit!!! When you slap that Starbucks on your Visa, DON’T quit!!! When you “forget” to make your extra debt payment, DON’T quit!!!
Commit to being flexible and ride it out, adjust your money and learn from the experience.
That which doesn’t kill you will make you stronger…don’t let perfectionism sneak up on you. Drop the copouts, quitting is not an option.
3. You’re Nothing If Your Last Name Ain’t Jones
In order to determine if a thing is perfect, you obviously have to have something else to compare it to…enter the Jones family.
These days it has become #goals to create the perfect Instalife…do it for the Vine (what happened to Vine anyway?). It’s so easy to get caught up in the comparison trap…especially with everyone posting their life’s highlight reel on EVERY social media platform.
Snapping the new cars, flashing fancy clothes on Instastories, tweeting about the shopping trips, and Facebooking the latest exotic vacations. (read expensive)
I mean…does anyone work anymore…and taking selfies don’t count!
The truth tho, is that everyone is running around comparing their idea of success to everyone else’s idea of success…and not even using the same measuring stick!
The thing is, we’re all a broiling mix of our past, our life experiences, our insecurities, our strengths and weaknesses. It’s only natural that our ideas of success are going to be different than those of the person next to us.
Trying to keep up with the Jones’ is like trying to hit a moving target…pointless and sets you up for immediate failure.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”–unknown
When we’re constantly looking outside of ourselves to see if we measure up, we never get a true sense of what success looks like for us as guided by our OWN morals and values.
MY perfect ≠ YOUR perfect!!!
And its better this way, cause yea…sameness is boring.
What brings us joy and fulfillment is unique to each and every one of us and our money should align with that!
Look girlie, it’s time to leave the Jones’ in the dust. Quit comparing your life, ride, house, *insert whatever* with what errrrybody else has…cause it’s keeping you in the red.
In the end…
I hate to break it to you girl, but perfectionism ain’t all its cracked up to be. It’s not something to strive for and it’s a hindrance to your worry free debt free life.
In fact, perfectionism is undersireable numero uno! Time to put that murdering thief away for good!
Don’t let it convince you that NOW is not the right time to attack your debt. Don’t listen when it points out every slip up you’ve had and tells you to quit. Don’t give in to it’s whispers that you gotta be part of the cool kids club by any means necessary, even if that means being up to your arse hairs in debt.
When you get intentional about spending your money in a way that supports getting out of debt as quick as possible, you’re giving the death sentence to that dream murdering perfectionism! YOU are in control.
You aren’t perfect, neither is your money…and that’s totally OK!
Remember, progress NOT perfection, and you’ll be ahead of the game. You got this, I believe in you. Go get em’ turbo!
Drop me a line below and let me know how your perfectionism has held your debt free dreams back and what you do to overcome it!